Who’s the better dresser? “I reluctantly admit Zende.”

Who’s more fun at parties? “I don’t know many fictional characters who might beat me — Delon!”

Who is luckier in love?­ “Zende is a mess. Delon wins this category.”

Who is more scholarly? “ ‘Hahvahhhd [University, says the real-life grad]. Blah blah.’ I win. It’s Delon.”

Who has the cooler job? “This is tough … International fashion designer versus actor … I’d say Delon. I win just because I love acting.”

Who drives a cooler car? “I feel like Zende must drive a ’rari [short for Ferrari]. I’m still working my way up there.”

Who is more athletic? “Delon beats Zende in every sport.”

Who is funnier? “We’re both pretty quick but I think Delon gets to be more sarcastic … I win!”

Who is braver? “Delon wouldn’t put up with any of this drama. Delon wins.”

Who has a worse temper? “Zende is a monk. Delon wins.”

Who is calmer in a crisis? “Again, Zende is a monk. Zende wins.”

Who is a better judge of character? “Zende’s radar is off. Delon wins.”

Who is a better friend? “Delon wouldn’t ‘Carter’ Carter the way that Zende ‘Carter-ed’ Carter. Delon wins.”

Who is more trustworthy? “Again, Delon, because [Carter sneaking around with Zende’s girlfriend] just wouldn’t happen [in real life].”

Who is more compassionate? “Zende is pretty damn forgiving, so I say Zende.”

Who is more romantic? “Zende really leans on the romance. Delon should pay attention, so  Zende.”

Who has the better business sense?  “Delon would be running Forrester Creations by now, so Delon wins.”

Who’s the better cook? “Zende probably picked up some stuff in Paris, so Zende wins.”




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